You and I or You and Me - Which is a Grammatical Mistake?

Short Answer: 

Both "you and I" and "you and me" are absolutely grammatically correct depending on the situation in which they are used. If the situation demands a subject, then using "you and I" is grammatically correct, and if the situation demands an object, then saying "you and me" is grammatically accurate; for example, "you and I are friends" and "John told you and me".

The question is now why "you and I" and "you and me" are correct only in some particular situations, and not in all situations. Why is it that you cannot use "you and I or you and me" in all situations? To know why, read this post with great attention and active participation. 

You and I or You and Me as Personal Pronouns

The pronouns in "you and I or you and me" are personal pronouns which refer to the 1st person (the person who is speaking i.e., I and we), 2nd person (the person who is being addressed or talked to i.e., you) and 3rd person (the person who is being talked about i.e., he, she, it, they).

How to Use the Personal Pronoun You?

"You" is a second person pronoun which is used both as a singular and plural pronoun in subjective and objective cases. "you" refers to the person whom you address or talk to. So, there're four possible situations or ways in which "you" can be used: 

1. You as a singular subject pronoun 
2. You as a singular object pronoun
3. You as a plural subject pronoun 
4. You as a plural object pronoun 

You as a Singular Subject Pronoun 

In this situation, "you" is a singular pronoun which is used as the subject of a verb in a sentence. 

For example:

• You are my best friend.
• You are always with me.
• You can't live alone.

Note that although "you" can be used as a singular subject pronoun, yet we can't use a singular verb with this second person pronoun "you". 

You as a Singular Object Pronoun 

In this case, "you" is a singular pronoun which is used as the object of a verb in a sentence.

For example:

• I told you about the problem.
• He will beat you up.
• She trusts you. 

You as a Plural Subject Pronoun 

In this situation, "you" is a plural pronoun which is used as the subject of a verb in a sentence. 

For example:

• You all are my friends. 
• You all will go to attend the class.
• You all are hardworking students.

Note: Both the singular and plural "you" look alike; that is, there's no difference between the singular "you" and plural "you". However, grammarians and teachers tend to use the word "all" with the plural "you" to distinguish it from the singular "you". 

You as a Plural Object Pronoun 

In this situation, "you" is a plural pronoun which is used as the object of a verb in a sentence. 

For example:

• I'm gonna tell you all.
• The teacher will beat you all.
• Did she inform you all of the incident?

How to Use the Personal Pronoun I?

"I" is a first person singular subject pronoun used in subjective or nominative case; "me" is a first person singular object pronoun used in objective case. 

So, there're only two ways the personal pronouns I and me are used. They're given as under:

• I subject pronoun as a subject in subjective or nominative case 
• Me object pronoun as object of a verb or preposition in objective case

I Subject Pronoun in Nominative Case

In this situation, "I" is a first person singular subject pronoun used as the subject of a verb in subjective o nominative case.

For example:

• I was speaking to my friend.
• I will call you later.
• You and I are best friends.

Me Object Pronoun in Objective case 

In this case, "me" is a first person object pronoun used as the object of a verb in objective case. 

For example:

• John invited you and me.
• She will tell John and me.
• Sofia informed me of the incident.

 Note:  The object pronoun "me" can be object of a preposition (a noun or pronoun used after a preposition is called object of a preposition.) as in "next to me".

Now the most important question arises whether "you and I or you and me" is correct grammatically once you've understood the personal pronouns I, you and me separately. 

You and I or You and Me, Which is Correct?

The question "you and I or you and me?" is actually about whether the subject pronouns "you and I" or the object pronouns "you and me" should be used in a given situation. When you ask this question, you actually can refer to different situations in which these two combinations of personal pronouns are used. 

In plain English, when you ask the question, "you and I or you and me?", you simply ask the following possible questions. Look at the questions very carefully.

1. Should I use the subject pronouns "you and I" if there's a verb which requires a subject as in" _______are best friends." (you and I) ?

2. Should I use the object pronouns "you and me" if there's a transitive verb which requires an object as in "John told________"(you and me)?

3. Should I use the first subject and second object pronouns "you and me" if there's a verb which requires a subject as in "_______are best friends." (you and me)?

4. Should I use the first object and second subject pronouns "you and I" if there's a verb which requires a subject as in "________ will tell him later." (you and I)?

5. Should I use the first subject and second object pronouns "you and me" if there's a verb which requires an object as in "John told _______." (you and me)?

6. Should I use the first object and second subject pronouns "you and I" if there's a verb which requires an object as in "John told________." (you and I)?

7. Should I use both subject or object pronouns or first subject and second object pronouns or second subject and first object pronouns after a preposition?

Have a look at the following examples containing "you and I or you and me" in all the possible situations. Wrap your head around these questions. You must understand these questions to understand the answers to these questions. 

1. You and I are best friends. (both you and I are subject pronouns here.)

2. John told you and me. (both you and me are object pronouns here.)

3. You and me are best friends. (you is a subject and me is an object pronoun here.)

4. You and I will tell him later. (you is an object and I is a subject pronoun here.)

5. John told you and me. (you is a subject and me is an object pronoun here.)

6. John told you and I. (you is an object and I is a subject pronoun here.)

7. (a) There's a great difference between you and I. (both you and I are subject pronouns here.)

7. (b) There's a great difference between you and me. (both you and I are object pronouns here.)

7. (c) There's a great difference between you and me. (you is a subject and me is an object pronoun here.)

7. (d) There's a great difference between you and I. (you is an object and I is a subject pronoun here.)

Now that you've understood all the possible questions containing "you and me or you and I", learn the grammar rules that tell you which ones of the above-mentioned example sentences are grammatically correct and which ones are not. 

Grammar Rules for You and I or You and Me

Rule 1: If there's a verb in the sentence which requires the subject pronouns "you and I" to be used, you must use both the pronouns "you" and "I" as the subject of the sentence in subjective case. On the other hand, if there's a verb in the sentence which requires the object pronouns "you and me" to be used, you must use both the pronouns as the object of the verb in objective case. 

So, according to this rule, out of the 10 possible sentences with "you and me and you and I" mentioned above, some of the following sentences are grammatically correct and some of them are incorrect. 

1. Correct: You and I are best friends. (both you and I are subject pronouns here.)

This sentence is grammatically correct, because the verb "are" requires the subject pronouns "you" and "I", and we've taken both the pronouns "you" and "I" to be subjects in this particular example.

2. Correct: John told you and me. (both you and me are object pronouns here.)

This sentence is also grammatically accurate, because the verb "told" requires both the pronouns "you" and "me" to be objects, and we've assumed them to be object pronouns here.

3.Incorrect: You and me are best friends. (you is a subject and me is an object pronoun here.)

This sentence is grammatically incorrect, because the verb "are" requires both the pronouns "you" and "me" to be subjects; however, we've assumed "you" to be a subject pronoun, but "me" is an object pronoun there.

 

4.Incorrect: You and I will tell him later. (you is an object and I is a subject pronoun here.)

This sentence is also grammatically incorrect, because the verb phrase "will tell" requires both the pronouns "you" and "I" to be subjects; however we've assumed and intended "you" to be an object pronoun. But "I" is certainly a subject pronoun here.

5. Incorrect: John told you and me. (you is a subject and me is an object pronoun here)

This sentence is also grammatically incorrect, because the verb "told" requires both the pronouns "you" and "I" to be objects; however, we've assumed "you" to be a subject pronoun. But "me" is certainly an object pronoun here.

6. Incorrect: John told you and I. (you is an object and I is a subject pronoun here.)

This sentence is also grammatically incorrect, because the verb "told" requires both the pronouns "you" and "I" to be objects, but we've assumed "you" to be an object pronoun, but "I" is not an object pronoun. 

Rule 2: Prepositions use their objects after them; therefore, the personal pronouns used after them must be in objective case. That is, object forms of the personal pronouns must be used after prepositions. 

According to this rule, out of the above-mentioned sentences in 7 (a, b, c, and d), some of the following sentences are grammatically correct, whereas some of them are incorrect.

7. Incorrect: (a) There's a great difference between you and I. (both you and I are subject pronouns here.)

This sentence is grammatically incorrect, because "I" in "between you and I" is in subjective case. Both the pronouns must have been in objective case to be correct because of the preposition "between".

7. Correct: (b) There's a great difference between you and me. (both you and me are object pronouns here)

This sentence is grammatically correct, because the pronouns "you and me" are in objective case as required by the rule.

7. Incorrect: (c) There's a great difference between you and me. (you is a subject and me is an object pronoun here.)

This sentence is grammatically incorrect, because we've assumed "you" in "between you and me" to be a subject pronoun. To be correct, both "you and me" must be in objective case because of the preposition "between".

7. Incorrect: (d) There's a great difference between you and I. (you is an object and I is a subject pronoun here.)

This sentence is also grammatically incorrect, because "I" in "between you and I" is a subject pronoun in subjective case. It must be in objective case to be correct.

You'll be shocked to know that you can use "you and me" or "you and I" regardless of the grammar rule mentioned above in informal English. Continue to read to know why.

Also read: Better Than Me or I?

You and I or You and Me - Which to Use in Conversation?

The grammar rule is that you must use "you and I" and "you and me" as the subject or object of a verb in a sentence respectively. However, people around you will use "you and I" as the object of either a verb or preposition as in "Jenny told you and I" and "John gave it to you and I" or they will use "you and me" as the subject of a verb as in "you and me should know this" in informal or casual conversation. 

Both Britannica and Cambridge Dictionary have precisely mentioned this topic in their sites where they're talking about the casual or informal usage of the pronouns I, me and you in spoken English. 

So, using I instead of me or vice versa is acceptable only in spoken English in informal situations. However, remember that it's acceptable only in spoken English, and not grammatical; therefore, it mustn't be used in formal English.

Once you've understood "what to be", it's time that you focus on "how to be"; that is, learn whether you and me or you and I is singular or plural. 

I and You or You and Me Singular or Plural?

Short Answer:

The short answer to this question is that both "you and I" and "you and me" are plural in number, because you and I or you and me refer to two different persons. "You" refers to the listener and "I" to the person speaking. As a result, the expressions "you and I are" in formal English and "you and me are" in informal English are grammatically correct. So, "you and I is" or "you and me is" is grammatically incorrect. 

Long Answer:

To understand the long answer to the question "you and me or you and I singular or plural?", Consider the following possible constructions containing "you and I" and "you and me".

• You and I is or are?
• You and I are or am?
• I and you are or is?
• You and me is or are?
• Me and you are or is?

To be sure about which ones of the above-mentioned expressions are grammatically accurate, you need to comprehend a subject-verb agreement rule. 

Subject-Verb Agreement Rule 

Rule: If two or more different persons, things or ideas are joined by the conjunction "and", then they will be plural in number and use plural verbs such as have, are, were, etc., after them.

So, according to this rule, we can decide that "you and I are" in formal English, "you and me are" and "me and you are" in informal English are correct, whereas the phrases such as "you and I is", "you and I am", "I and you is", "you and me is", "you and me am", "me and you is" or "me and you am" are grammatically incorrect. 

 

FAQs - You and I or You and Me

Is It You and I or You and Me?

Yes, both you and I and you and me are grammatically correct depending on the situation. The simple rule is that you should use "you and I" as the subject of a verb in a sentence and "you and me" as the object of a verb in a sentence. Read the full article to learn all. 

You and I vs You and Me

"You and I" is a subject pronoun used as the subject of a verb in a sentence as in "you and I are going", whereas "you and me" is an object pronoun used as the object of a verb in a sentence as in "John told you and me". Refer to the full article to learn more.

You and I or you and me examples

You and I examples

In formal English

a. You and I are best friends.

b. You and I are going to the market.

c. You and I have discussed the topic.

d. You and I were in the class.

e. You and I want to get married.

You and me examples

In informal English 

a. You and me are friends.

b. You and me are going to the store.

c. You and me have talked about the issue.

d. You and me were in the class.

e. You and me want to know each other.

You and me is or are 

"You and me is" is nor correct, whereas "you and me are" is correct in informal English according to the subject-verb agreement rule. Read the complete article to learn it in great details.

I and you are or am

"I and you are" is correct grammatically as in "I and you have made this mistake.", whereas "I and you am" is not correct grammatically. Read the full article to know more about it. 

You and I sentences 

1. You and I are best friends.

2. You and I are going to the store.

3. You and I have already watched the movie.

4. You and I were available in the class yesterday.

5. You and I have done this commendable job. 

6. You and I are have to submit the assignment in two days.

7. You and I will go to the market.

What is correct between you and me or you and I?

Only "between you and me" is grammatically correct both in formal and informal situations, and "between you and I" is not grammatically correct; however, it's acceptable and often used in spoken English in informal situations. 

Is it correct to say I and you?

Yes, using I and you is grammatically correct as in "I and you have committed this mistake". Note that the order 1 2 is often followed when describing some wrongdoing. 

Is it correct to say me and you?

No, saying me and you as the subject of a verb in a sentence is not grammatically correct in sentences like "me and you are going"; however, it's often used in spoken English. Note that using "me and you" as the object of a verb in a sentence is absolutely grammatical as in "John told me and you".

Can we say you and me?

Yes, you can say "you and me" as the object of a verb in a sentence as in "John told you and me.", but remember that you can't say "you and me" as the subject of a verb in a sentence. Read the entire article to learn all about it.

Why do people say between you and I?

People says between you and I, because they're habituated of saying so due to frequently hearing the expression "between you and I" from the people around them.

You should avoid using "between you and I" in formal situations, because it's not grammatically accurate.

Is it my husband and me or I?

"My husband and me" as the subject of a verb is not grammatically correct, but used in informal English, whereas "my husband and I" as the subject of a verb is grammatically correct and used in formal English. Read the full article to learn all about it.

Is I and me the same?

No, "I" is a first person singular subject pronoun used as a subject in a sentence in subjective or nominative case, whereas "me" is a first person singular object pronoun used as an object in a sentence in objective case.

How do I choose between me and I?

You should select "me" when there's a verb which requires an object as in "he told me." or a preposition which uses an object after it as in "between you and me", whereas you're going to choose "I" when there's a verb which requires a subject as in "I go to school everyday"

Is it between my brother and I or me?

Yes, "between my brother and I" is often used in informal situations; however, it's not grammatically correct. But yes, "between my brother and me" is grammatically correct and can be used both in formal and informal situations.